TMI#6
I had to take a shit hella badly. So I go to my bathroom, drop my shorts on the floor, and run towards the toilet. I sit down and right away, a piece of shit the size of potato comes out and hits the water making a big splash. After tiny bits of crap dropping after, I grab and reach for the toilet paper. Nothing. I was like, “Awwh fuck.” So I daringly get out of the toilet and get into a doggy position thinking no shit would drop on the ground. Bad luck though. Turns out there was little ball of poop still hanging from my butt hole, and while I was trying to crawl to the cabinets trying to find toilet paper, it falls and drops on the mat. I didn’t even notice till after I reached the cabinets which turned out to be no toilet. I was screwed. I get up not caring, walked back to the toilet and stepped on the piece of shit. I freak out jumping up and down yelling out “WHAT THE FUCK” I didn’t know what to do. Luckily, there was a laundry basket, and in the basket was filled with my brothers dirty clothes. So I used a one of his old shirts and wiped my ass. When I finished I tried to clean my feet and the mat, but it just smeared even more. So I just said, “Screw it” I put on my clothes, wash my feet, and switch the mat with the one in my moms bathroom. As for the shirt I used, I put it back in the basket. I think I should’ve thrown it away.. Ohwell.
OMYGOD. HAHAHHA.. Legend.
